Desireeeeeeé !

Stole this from Amanda :D

2009-09-29T02:39:59Z

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People. (but don’t say their name)

10. I really wish that i talked to you more instead of being mixed up with my stupid self.
i miss you so much. I don't think their will be anyone else i trust as much as i did you.
9. It's really strange that i knew 'you' for such a short period of time and you impacted my
life as much as you did. I miss you a lot. and good luck with everything. Still miss those
longs walks even though that wasn't exactly the real you.
8. You're really inspiring!! You make me wish i had more time to make a difference.
7. It's like i've had a non-sexual crush on you. i guess what i'm saying is i wish i was
unique like you.
6. I think you're a complete slut. period. excedeing 20 people is just plain sick.
5. I question you're motives. I don't know what you're tryna pull girl but I'm certainly
not jealous.
4. Ethan is a complete fool to be missing out on you!
3. I wish you could stop thinking about you for once and think about me. for a second even.
2. Thanks for just being an all around cool guy. Seriously youre one of my favorite people
ever.
1. I hate when you text me. i just remeber all those gross things you used to say about me.

Nine things about myself:

9. I take things to the extreme.
8. I'm kinda insecure. really insecure.
7. going into the cosmetology field
6. I'll do whatever it takes to stay tan. lmao.
5. latinos ♥
4. teal is my favorite color.
3. lazy. haha real with it.
2. eastern tech grad?
1. would do anything to help someone out

Eight ways to win my heart in relationships.

8. Be trustworthy/trust me
7. be sweet
6. have good manners
5. 'don't lock me in a cage'
4. make time for me
3. have fun ideas
2. make me laugh :D
1. want to be with me

Seven things that cross my mind a lot.

7. Jesus♥
6. $ issues
5. Monday and Tuesday :)
4. my mimz
3. If i'll be in trouble or not when i get home lolololol
2. how to change the negativity
1. what the fuck i'm going to do with my life

Six people who mean a lot. (in no order whatsoever)

6. Jamie!
5. Jesus! ♥
4. Annie!
3. Papa Dosch!
2. Mike Mike
1. My Mimzzz!

Two things you want before you die.
2. to amount to something
1. have a family

One confession:
1. i'm not as confident in my future as i lead on

oh today today today!

2009-08-19T01:30:27Z

ya know a lot of the time were disfunctional and you make me wanna pull my hair out
but i love love love you mucho!

and i totally made that up side down pineapple cake
and yes..it was the complete shit! :D

It's been a while

2009-05-23T03:44:21Z

it's just me venting...so save yourself if you don't care.

My mood's are so up and down lately. i never used to be this way before.
It's been a tough year for my family.
With My mom's car accident and my grandma having cancer.
Hospice stepped in a week ago. :(
That always means thier chance for survival is small.
It's so sad to see someone you love and were so close to die. To go in there room and say hi and them just stare at you blankly like they never seen you before.
She honestly is the closet relative i had. The closet friend. I can trust her with anything knowing she would never tell a soul and not judge me for it.

Then theres things with Jesus and I.
We'll be up and then really down.
I've never been in a relationship before where my fidelity was ever in question.
It's weird not being trusted...and the other person not having a legit reason to not trust you.
I just would never do that. I'm too in love with him to do that.
I can honestly say I am in love.
The odds are against us enough..like age and him not being a part of this country.
So it kills me when he starts petty things like to forget him because he knows i'm not in love with him. Then i gush about how much i am.
I think he does this on purpose. I'm so stupid and naive.
Sarah tells me i need to learn the game. haha. but i'm always the one that does all the gushing and then they always walk away.
I feel like i try so hard. Maybe i try too hard.

Or maybe he doesn't try hard enough.

Then theres work. which i'm absolutely sick of.
That used to be my favorite place to be.
All the people and all the money.

Now i know all the people too well...and we're in a fucking recession.

Oh and probably my biggest issue!
I'm about to graduate... and i have no clue what i'm going to do next year.

things are catching up with me.

2009-02-24T00:58:31Z

i don't know... I'm just really bummed.

I have detention this week but it's whatever, i guess.
Just figuring out how to tell my mom that on top of
everything else thats happened.

I really wish my mom didn't get in that accident
and that my grandmom gets better.

I also wish i wasn't such a fuck up.

Put I'm trying to stay posi:

-My mom will probably come to her senses when things with the courts and wahtever are over with
-my grandmom has a lot of hope!
-I can always change my ways
-He swears he'll wait
-i got 3- 40 minute detentions instead of 6- 1 hour ones for my honesty
-Things always end up working themselves out
-School will be over in 3 months

Okay, Real Quick!

2009-02-03T01:41:56Z

what is on my mind:

-Senioritis in full effect
-Skipped today with Phil and saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, then went and spent a whole bunch of ca$h at the mall. Feels good to be friends again with him again. :)
-HATE CULINARYYYY!
-Things with Jesus and I are goood. Well, okay. jealousy and double standards aren't sweet. but hey.
-Had a long talk yesterday with the lovely LG and glad things with her and i are fine.
-Thinking about prom already, possible limo with Danielle ?
-Working all day valentines day and counldn't be more excited. i ♥ $$$
-Not sure how i feel about religion these days. :/
-I don't want school tomorrow ... or ever for that matter.
-I want to see Love in thoughts really bad. I have the strangest obsession with foreign films anymore.
-anyone have any idea where to get a polaroid camera?????? I've been searching like crazy because my dad broke mine. Haven't had much luck in finding a new one since you know they aren't going to make the fucking film anymore. Prime time to look for a new one, right?
-German and I are having issues on and off again.
-I don't fucking like it when someone wants to have too much say in my life.

"Love in thoughts"

So excited

2009-01-06T20:24:04Z

2008 is over. It was a rough year to say the least.
but i think it was kinda rough for everyone, one way or the other.

Whats weird is everyone that was important to me this time last year
aren't in my life anymore.
But! i have a lot of hope for this new year!
I have some many people that i know are actually going to be there for me :)
And Phil and I are becoming friends again, which is something i never thought would happen again.

Okay, Resolutions:
- Get focused and stop procrastinating on fucking everything.
- Not get angry over petty things.
- Shed some lbs! haha
- Stay positive.

yeah, i'm about a week late but it's okay, i was a little busy ;)

keep up with the mean mugs.

2008-12-08T23:41:45Z

because we're all just laughing :)

i'm not laughing at you..i'm laughing with you.

2008-11-22T17:50:56Z

a good fuck you is what i need right now.

Cierra took this in english. :) I just love her. She's been a real friend to me these past couple weeks.

Anyway nothing much is new:
-My grandmother moved in with us, becuase she isn't doing to well.
-Still work the whole weekend minus fridays.
-Did pretty shitty first quarter.
-Stopped tanning....but Brittany and I are thinking of signing up again. hah

But here's what I'm looking forward to:
F Nov. 28 Possible Scavenger hunt with Sammy Pinder, Brian Wickman and
company. Holler if you want to be on my team. I think I'm on Rob's. I'm
not sure.

F Dec. 05 Helvi and I's birthday thing.

S Dec. 06 Birthday. I have no plans on this day for 2 reasons. No one will cover
shifts at work, and it's the States game. (Those who know the drill
understand why that is italicized, hah!)

W Dec. 24 My favorite day of the entire year.

T Jan. 06 Three Kings Day in Spanish Harlem w/ the multicultural club! You know I'm
stoked as shit for that.

Other Stuff:
-Finished Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer for my booktalk (which I bombed). I just can't do public speaking, which is weird for how nuts I am! I throughly enjoyed it though! Probably the best book I've read in a while.

-I'm trying to get down with his other book, Everything is Illuminated. But for some reason I'm having trouble getting into it. I really want to see the movie though! Which I won't watch until I finish the book. Because i'm like that.

-I really want to see Twilight for some reason. And recently I've been getting down with foreign films. I really want to see Ciao Bella and Amelie. I need a movie night!

- Work's been bad lately. Over the summer i was making so much money! And i mean so much money! now I'm lucky if i walk out with $4. I don't know this whole combination of not seeing my friends + not making money + working a lot + school is really putting a damper on my mood.

Thinking about it. This just hasn't been my year.

now that change is possible

2008-11-07T03:10:38Z

i'm anxious to see what will actually occur!
*crosses fingers* hopefully things start going back up.

i fell in love with that.
no one else saw the humor in it though.

sometimes i think i want to give up on most of the "friendships" i have with people. I sometimes wonder how i got mixed up with people so different than me. Not bad different, just unrelatable.
I guess i'm just sick of getting the rasied eyebrow and being left out of things.
I stirred up a lot of stuff.
but i don't feel bad at all for it.
People have walked all over me for as long as i can remember, and flat out - it's not going to happen anymore.
I'm not going to bend over and kiss anyones ass anymore - for what?
Nothing.
And this i hate you today but in like 2 days we'll be cool stuff, has gotta stop.

halloween

2008-11-01T16:19:35Z

+ Walked home with matt schley
+ I got to see Dave, even though it was just for a bit.
+ His familys fine :) thank goodness.
+ i think i'm going to cut back on tanning, hahaha.
+ The Bloods didn't get me! hah!
+ Didn't go to the Overlea game
+ 4-day weekend word up!

- I didn't get to hang out with brittany
- school is horrible.

homecoming

2008-10-26T04:40:41Z

was disapointing.

-They over sold tickets...Rob said like 930-something.
-So thats like 800 not from our school, I seriously recognized more people from Kenwood then from Eastern.
-Music worse than usual.
-I didn't really have anyone there down for some grindin'. hah!

oh and wtf is the cupid shuffle?

so Rob Kelin and I left early.

spirit week

2008-10-25T15:26:04Z

CLASH DAY

culinary

chelsey + shannon!

Cierra + luke!

TWIN DAY

sam + ash!

ash + luke + sam

Steph! =) i look wack, hah

Krystal + Jie Ying!

danielle and matt!

Sean! haha i always look silly when the flash is on

ANIMAL DAY! was my favorite!

Chelsey was minnie mouse :)

Jenn + Ash!

Helvi!

Stephanie is sexy.

lolz.

CLASS COLOR DAY

Danielle and Ash!

i fake baked the previous day. incase you couldn't tell or anything.

Helvi + Cierra !

:)

culinary

jes fultz!

lauren!

matt!

Maurice! word up to the jrs!

Seany!

ROb! with andrew krafty on his shirt. :)

TIffany!!!!!

Luke Horner

Brittany!

SPIRIT DAY

Brian and Sammy

Lansdown Vikings

Bryan

Brian and Chris! woo!

Cierra and Brittany!

Everyone thought i made this sign.

teddy burca

Jesse Swain

Sean and Jess Horst

Joe McNew

Kathy F Baby!

kelin!

Jess!

matt troyer!

meagan forney!

Ricky and Saqlain!

Ricky!

Shrey!

Matt Tyler D and Z fizzle

Tiffany!

Tiffany!!

Matt and Zach

tonight is homecoming! i'm excited. :)

i haven't been myself lately.

2008-10-16T20:18:36Z

i guess i just wish things were going as well for me, as they seem to be going for eveyone else.

september sucks.

2008-09-28T03:24:57Z

-My mom slowing lossing her mind. She was in a car accident. nothing happened to her at all!
but the lady who was in the accident broke her leg. And my mom is so worried about her and
thinks shes a terrible person and that god will never forgive her. It's all she thinks
about anymore. I just want her to be okay.

-I work wed, fri, sat, sunday nights. so i work the fucking entire weekend.
I'm sick of it.

-German and I aren't talking again. He believes his life is a lot better without me in it. I
tend to agree. I'm a lot happier with out him. Drama free, ya dig?

-Jill and i set things straight.

-Auder bought me my pulsera de santos that i've been wanting.

-Eastern Tech is driving me fucking nuts.

1.The old bitch in the office got in my face because i wanted to switch mt activity period
to an actual fucking club! They have you chose three choices for a reason. i picked
multicutural club, then badminton then photography.
They placed me in fucking study hall. So are a lot of seniors who wanted to be apart of
something instead of sleeping in study hall.
She said all it's not going to happen and those clubs chose who they wanted.
what the fuck ever, i talked to ms. arminio and i'm in.

2.I hate all the bull shit courses i'm taking. but thats my fault i guess. oh, Epi suck my
ballz.

3.This year were having Wilderness Wednesday. Cool, i'll dress up like a fucking bear.

-My friends basically replaced me with mel. neat!

-Obviously i'm trying to be latina because i go tanning and i'm trying to speak spanish. Hop
off my nut, i go tanning because i hate being pale and i want to learn spanish because i
like the latinos ;] simple as that bitch.

fuck september.

2008-09-11T23:42:14Z

i get lots of awkward looks.

i just like saying whats on my mind.
If everyone said what they wanted to say and did what they wanted to do
this world would be a lot more interesting.

this year is really sucking hard.
it drives me completely nuts sitting in goofy ass classes
like college readiness and sat prep.
i wish i could just take english 12 and epi like i need.
whats with all the other bullshit?
whaats the point of prolonging it?
i don't know.

I'm looking forward to October.
I always do. It is my favorite month.
The only bummer is halloween is on a friday this year and of
course i work those.
Last halloween was so great and everytime i think about it
i smile, even though the two people I was with
will never speak to me again.

I also want a date to homecoming.
but for some reason i have a feeling that will not happen.

btw does anyone know where i can find this:

i've heard downtown, but where at?

badmintons good this year.
i guess.
i always thought i'd be so sad when my last season came.
but each year i just keep losing interest.

i wish something totally neat would happen.
to spice things up a bit.

it sucks so bad

2008-09-05T02:08:22Z

when you met someone and think so highly of them
and they turn around and say the meanest things
about you.

Maybe i do view the world with rose-colored glasses
like german says.
I give people the benefit of the doubt too much.
Let people get to close.

Enh, it's going to bother me for a while i know it.
I let things get to me too much.
I need to work on that.
Fuck everyone. seriously.

ohh boy

2008-08-29T02:15:00Z

well school started up again. i'm kinda excited?
being a senior and all that. but kind of weird at the
same time.

I think i'm going to buckle down and do things this year,
i know.. really late in the game.
haha!

and i guess i'm going to have to break down and take those
fucking SAT's. I plan on going to Robert Paul
which is a trade school so they don't require the SAT's.
But i think i should take them anyway?
you know just in case or whatever.
But I'm so unprepared. And this PSAT/SAT prep course is kind of
a joke.
And i feel like they're pushing me.
I was really planning on taking the test in january.
But Mr. Bateman wants everyone registred for the one in
october.

All of my classes are kind of jokes.
Last year i signed up for these stupid courses for easy A's and
whatever, but it's so simple i'm bored with it and i actually wish
i took my mom's advice and took subjects of substance.

--Like i should have taken Calc. instead of this "College Readiness" bullshit.
Wish is kind of like a sixth grade math course.
complete joke. and like everyone at my table is always fucking high off their ass.
haha!

--And i should have taken Honors Forensics instead of Standard enviromental.

--And basically any other elective besides weight training and aerobics.

It seemed like a good idea when i signed up. But now i;m just bored,
but yeah i might actually get straight A's for once in my life.

Oh, Chef Green is kind of the devil.
I hate my major so bad right now. I wish we didn't chase Mr. Phillips away.
This year would have been so chill.

Single life is getting to me. I kinda want a man.
hah, yeah i know it's stupid, and i really have no time because my schedule
is full of school and work and badminton.
WHICH I AM TEAM CAPTAIN OF. :] haha i'm only making a big deal about it
because this year the team had to vote on it.
and i wasn't even fucking there and i just think it's really funny and awesome.
Of course Rob brings me down saying Jess livingston should be captain.
and hes probably right. but whatev.

This monday is labor day and i'm really excited because this will be my only total day off from everything for a while. So i'm hanging with the ladies.
:]

I'm actualy sick of working? I was so stoked on by the docks but now it's just bugging me.
Like Tommy, my boss went on a rant and wrote like everyone up for
dumb random stupid things.
blahhh.

i know this was all really random, but i needed to "scream some shits"
holler.

Seriously?

2008-07-23T17:54:11Z

"The Bush administration is up to its old tricks again, quietly putting ideology before science and women's health. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is poised to put in place new barriers to accessing common forms of contraception like birth control pills, emergency contraception and IUDs by labeling them "abortion." These proposed regulations set to be released next week will allow healthcare providers to refuse to provide contraception to women who need it. "

Clinton Blasts federal plan

i just want to fast forward

2008-07-22T19:03:44Z

i'm sick of people feeling the need to censor
themselves around me.
it's so frustrating.
i wish i could just talk to people.
And have a normal conversation instead of this
"are you excited to go back to school!?" bullshit.
fuck what you heard.
and i want to talk to who i want.
anyone, without having all these eyes on my back.

I don't really have anyone to relate to, anymore.

summers been kinda busted,

2008-07-18T12:06:04Z

Better things better start happening.

And fuck all my bullshit friends, who only want to hang out and
talk when the deatbeat boyfriend is ignoring them.

is everyone

2008-07-03T03:53:41Z

a whore these days?

it's despressing when you find out that the people you work with and have come to admire have been fucking the entire kitchen.

Things are starting to get nuts

2008-06-28T03:00:29Z

-Stephen and Jeff got caught 'padding the clock' at work. Stealing hours and what not. For the past month or so they've been clearing so much money. They're pay checks were almost double mine, and i work just as much as them. So Brittany, Ashley and I have to pick up there shifts.

-I'm leaving for the ocean in a few days with Steph. I'm really excited. I love my two jobs a lot. But i really need a few days off, i've been picking up so many shifts here and there, i need a break.

-Joel and i have been getting really close. He's teaching me spanish and i'm helping him with english.

-It erks me that some of the hostesses speak so disrespectfully of the kitchen staff and bus boys. They aren't 'dirty Mexicans'. They're wondeful people who tried to welcome you. Calling you beautiful or bonita isn't degrading in my book.

Ya dig

2008-06-23T21:19:04Z

"Desireé's the new it girl around here. All the guys wanna beat it to her, they don't care how illegal she is."

Lunes es mi favorito. I'm finally off after 3 doubles.
Steph came over today we tanned and drove around. I got tha carter III and a bunch of other useless junk.
haha, what is wrong with me?

i'm going to Ocean City july 2nd-7th.
if i can get someone to cover my fucking wednesday night.

Oh and I'm really liking this single shit.
I haven't not been in a relationship/"talking" to someone since like 9th grade. hah!

My report came on wednesday. It was shit. Like i predicted.
I got senior-itis the last quarter and i wasn't even a senior.
hahahaha!

i'm exciting for this coming year, though.
Then thats it, man. :)

And i've been thinking.

2008-06-17T04:50:57Z

-I'm disgusted once again with mister perfect. German, stop it. Just stop it. It frustrates me that you always think you know whats best for me. Flirting around and fucking around are two entirely different things.

-I want to hang out with Rob more. I'm glad we are on good terms again.

-I read all my old journals, and realized i'm alot happier now. Everyone was right. Things have changed drastically, and i love it.

-By the Docks is my favorite place right now. I love my job. i love that i get payed bank to socialize and just bag shit. haha!

-I wish i was older, or you were younger. I like that you give me cute sobrenombres because you cannot pronounce my name, but think it's beautiful anyway. I like that you have taught me more spanish in the last three days then i have learned in the three years i took it in school.

-I hate routines and I'm so glad that everyday really feels like it's brand new. I'm learning so much.

-More people should come over and go swimming with me.

-I don't like how some people seem to think there is this hispanic hierachy. Tell me why Mexico is better than Guatemula, again. I don't understand. It's completely ridiculous. but i hear about it a lot.

things are really weird.
hows everyones summer?

"Muy bonita, baby...You have a boyfriend?"

2008-06-15T03:11:15Z

This day forth- hispanic men only. ;]

Nery, En dos anos, tu es mia, senor guapo.